M2BN book publishing sent me a copy of Baby Massage Experience with my Mother: 'Peer Support' to review, the Author is Mary Kay. Mary Kay was born in Zambia & is a registered Nurse & Midwife, she works with children and their families as a Clinical Specialist, she is also a trained baby massage instructor.
The book is paper back with a RRP of £7.99. It has 113 page which is made up of Acknowledgement, Foreword, Introduction, 11 Chapters, References & About the Author
This is the second book in Mary Kay's series of books on parenting.
Chapter 1 The Outcome Of Labour
This chapter starts off with a couple called Nikki & Fraser who were expecting their first child, the pregnancy had progressed well with no complications & were on very close to bringing their baby into the world. The labour soon turns into a dramatic scene with the baby delivered by ventouse Nikki & Fraser baby boy did not cry & the room flooded with specialist, he needed help & was rushed up to the special care baby unit, whilst the new parents were left in limbo not knowing what was wrong with their baby boy. The DR's eventually came to tell her they would be soon be able to see their baby boy but were told the news that they would not be able to hold him.
Chapter 2 The Unit
A nurse escorts them to see their baby boy. This chapter describes the heart break of being able to see their son but not being able to touch him, and how the couple support each other during this moment in their lives where they feel, scared, helpless and heartbroken.
Chapter 3 Waiting for Difficult News
The devastated parent are told their newborn son is suffering from seizures and needed help breathing. The couple were told their son had Neonatal Encephalopathy. They was left with he is very ill & will need to be kept sedated. The devastated parents were then left in a room with so many questions in their head, such as "why me"? "what did I do wrong"?. When your child gets diagnosed you are then left grieving for the child that you had imaged him to be.
Chapter 4 Grieving Parents
Whilst the new parents went through the grieving process they found it difficult coping with the amount of visitor's the found themselves getting. Each new visitor mean't they had to relive the traumatic news they had been told each time. The new parents decided on a ban of all visitors including family so they was able to come to terms with the devastating news that they had been dealt.
Chapter 5 Discharge Plan
Preparation were being made to wean Tony off the machinery that was there to support him in order to allow him to be taken home question aroused of how they would cope, what happens if their son suddenly deteriorates. Many questions like this flood your mind with a new baby let alone a child with a disability. Nikki is riding an emotional roller coaster that never ends, which is not helped by the fact that her own mother has stayed away since being told to not visit at the hospital.
Chapter 6 Peer Support
Tony's condition had stabilised so the time came for the new parents to talk home their baby boy. Pre planned visits from the health visitor were in place & away they went home. On such visits from the health visitor she noticed that mum was suffering from Post natal depression & Tony too was lacking stimulation so it was decided that Nikki & Tony would attend a baby massage class in the hope that mum & baby would bond.Their first baby massage session begins, Nikki feels awkward because all the other babies don't have special needs & Tony's 1st experience of baby massage didn't go well with him either.
Chapter 7 Referrals
This chapter talks about how or why you may be referred to baby massage and touches on the importance of touch and stimulation is to mum & baby
Chapter 8 Quality Time
this is the second week of Nikki & Tony's baby massage sessions. Whilst the babies lay on their mats they happily communicated with each other all except Tony who due to his additional needs was behind the other babies. When a baby has addition needs it becomes more important to communicate with him so mum is able to notice any slightest change in him. During this session the massage instructor & other mum notice that Nikki had not yet bonded with her son, She happily chatted to other babies but never her own son. The instructor stepped in & on their 3rd session the format was different & Nikki soon started to communicate with Tony & both started to enjoy baby massage.
Chapter 9 Positive feedback
Tony's follow up hospital brought positive news for the young mum, this chapter shows a change in Nikki she is now able to deal with her son & meet all his needs, so she turns her attention onto her & Fraser's need as a couple, urging her husband not to work so late so they could have time together.
Chapter 10 Planning Ahead
this chapter is the last baby massage session, they mums happily chat about their experiences & how Nikki got her relationship back on track. Nikki was finally able to step off that emotional roller coaster and was confident in her abilities to care for her son. She suggested to the group that they keep up with baby massage , taking turns to host the sessions in their homes. Nikki's oozed confidence and had a bond with her son.
Chapter 11 Valuable Information
The instructor tell Nikki how to move forward ensuring she has the right support from the right people, Nikki's mother had still not made contact so she lacked the family support which is important when you have a child with special needs. The instructor encourage Nikki to keep up with the support network & evaluates how far the young mum has come.
I really enjoyed this book it took me on journey that is very familiar to what I went through when my son was diagnosed & the importance of having a strong support network around you. I love that through baby massage it allowed Nikki to communicate with her baby thus building the all important bond.
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